A poll shows that a good portion of the South is open to secession.
It has been over a hundred and fifty years since that traitor Lee surrendered, and these idiots still can’t give up on this pipe dream.
But you know what, we should let them.
That seems a bit extreme but hear me out.
A lot of societies’ problems are averted when you allow a release valve.
There would probably be less hatred toward any president if we didn’t criminalize frustration and I were allowed, hypothetically, to say, “Some presidents really deserve to die.” But that’s hypothetical. A more realistic example is that the Amish have Rumspringa—the Amish force everyone in their community to experience a year in the outside world. While I haven’t done a huge amount of research, my understanding is that Amish communities that encourage Rumspringa have a higher retention rate than communities that don’t. Additionally, there are numerous anecdotal examples of companies letting employees express their frustrations resulting in lower job dissatisfaction, even if the employee’s concerns are not addressed.
If people feel they have a release valve, they are less likely to go off the rails.
Hence why I think we should have Congress pass a law that will allow states to secede.
Here are the requirement that should be met:
- 2/3’s of the state legislature and 3/4’s of the state’s populace in a general vote have to want to leave the Union.
- They will agree to take a percentage of the federal debt equivalent to their electoral college percentage with them.
- They may keep any arms for the national guard and half of the military resources already in the state if they want, but all nukes will be moved out if there are any.
- For one year, people can move in or out, but after a year from the secession, where you live is where you have citizenship, and you renounce citizenship in the place you moved out of.
- If that state wants to come back, it will first have to spend 20 years as a territory before it can be up for statehood.
I see two, maybe three states actually going through with this insanity: Wyoming, Vermont, and maybe Alabama (based on how far they voted for one party over the other). The Union would not be weaker by losing any of these shitholes.
Having the option to leave most of the illiberal parts of America (and by that, I mean both Trump’s illiberal right and Sander’s illiberal left) would focus more on getting their own states to leave the Union rather than annoying us with their dumb ideas at the federal level. Further, when the most illiberal right (Wyoming) and illiberal left (Vermont) states leave the Union, most of the people who support their blithering idiot beliefs will flock to those states to engage in their fascist/socialist paradise, leaving the rest of the states without their dumbest (yet highly vocal) fringes.
This will lead to better policymaking in our nation, and a retreat of the worst of both parties on all forms of media as the fringes will both want to move to their promised lands and preach only to the converted.
Think of it there are no downsides to this.
The high bar for leaving will prevent most states from leaving, keeping the Union intact. In fact, the high bar will cause the psychos of both sides to move to the fringes even before they leave. Certainly, that will make Vermont and Wyoming more insane than they currently are…but they’re already places you couldn’t pay sane people to live in, so…not much of a loss. However, the MAGA idiots who refuse to admit that fascism is bad and that their fascist attempt in January happened and was a bad thing won’t be pushing through voter suppression laws, laws against the internet, or whatever else lunacy they’re going to come up with when their God-king isn’t put back in whatever date they’re going to come up with next.
And right now, I’m sure we’re all forgetting how vile the Bernie supporters are, but take a moment to remember the idiots who tried their anarchist commune in Portland last summer and ask yourself if being rid of them won’t also be a good thing.
Certainly, given that both groups are bad at things like math, they’ll fill into states with reputations for extremism (even though those states are not nearly crazy enough to leave the Union)…but honestly, Texas, Florida, California, and Massachusetts can suffer. I don’t think we’ll care if they have more crazy to deal with.
But once both extremes have a release valve option, they will focus on that, not on fabricating evidence of a stolen election, not on putting up barriers to free trade, not on demanding that the internet be shut down, or companies be broken apart.
Certainly, both the fascist/socialist models will result in economies that will look like the worst of North Korea, but, hey, those dumbfucks choose that lifestyle so that I will be perfectly okay with a closed border policy with those nightmare civilizations. The worst-case scenario is that both fringes will try and declare war…, but it’s not like we have to worry that intelligent people will be moving en masse to these utopian hellholes. I mean, we all get a laugh over how bad Libertarians fucked up when they took over a town. This will show the other two extremes are equally bad. What will result will look as bad as America’s early ill-planned attempt to invade Canada.
And because both extremes on the right and left have earned a reputation for anti-vax behavior, having them all crowd into one place…the problem will solve itself quickly.
What will not happen is you will not see a massive amount of states leaving the Union and the whole country falling apart. With just one or two states leaving and a legal means to move there built-in, you will see the craziest of the crazies moving rather than trying to push their insanity in whatever state they currently live. And maybe, just maybe, both sides will get two states, but after that, those states will act as a fly trap for all the other lunatics. This would make the rest of us safer.
I see no downside.