Tag Archives: pop culture

Things the Government and Hollywood can do to lower ticket prices

Movie ticket prices are high…as the Entertainment Editor of Elementary Politics I regrettably know this better than most 1888635_623836521024148_812367747072020643_nhaving to pay money to go see movies I actually know will suck (Go and read some articles on Elementary Politics…if we get enough readers I can probably get a press pass into films).

But there appears to be some doom and gloom on the horizon. The first is that, as we all know the last few years have seen deeper and deeper slumps in box office turnout. It gets even worse when you look at supposedly important names like Spielberg and Lucas* telling us that we can soon expect $25 tickets. Now I think $25 may be little overblown (even with inflation under the Obama), and might be a little bit of Spielberg forgetting the studios might not want to fund him because his last six movies have all been terrible. Still the fact is movie prices are still going up. And this comes with the rather idiotic question what can the government do to stop that…yes I’ve actually heard people ask variants of this question, because there are some idiots who feel the government needs to fix all of their problems.movie tickets

But rather than asking what can the government do, I’m going to ask the more important question what can the government stop doing to help reduce movie ticket prices? There are already a horde of policies and regulations in place that are helping to drive the price of your movie ticket up (along with the price of just about everything else) and if the government stopped doing these things you would have far more reasonable prices and far less inflation.

1. First and foremost we need to ignore Senator John McCain (who never met a line of the Constitution that he felt like defending) in his call to regulate cable TV even more. And after that we need not regulate anything else to do with the entertainment industry. I’m sure there are probably a few (very few) laws that should pertain to the entertainment industry, but right now I can also guarantee you we have dozens, possibly hundreds we don’t need and that need to be scrapped before we need any new laws. At this point new laws and regulations only create new headaches and roadblocks for business, industry, innovation and creation.

There is a minimum level of laws needed in society. We are nowhere near that level and need to take a machete, a chainsaw, and possibly a nuclear weapon to the stack of laws we do have at present.

2. End all public funding at all levels for all kinds of subsidies, tax breaks, or incentives. This might seem counter intuitive for why it would raise the price of your tickets. Subsidies only ever result in getting more of something people don’t want. Movies make money when they’re good…so if the only reason you’re going to make it is because you can get a tax break or a right-off or a subsidy in creating content that is sub-par and will in the end reduce the profitability of the market…which in turn has to be made back by charging higher prices for tickets. (Not to mention it creates crap like NPR and PBS which despite its claims of being educational actually make people dumber).

3. Conversely taxes should just be lowered in general. Be it the flat tax or the fair tax, it is irrelevant, but if taxes were just lower you would find more money to invest in films, better, cheaper technology to make films, and lower costs all around for production. Tax reform always benefits everyone, without question, without exception.

4. Another obvious one: Get rid of Obamacare. If you don’t think the production companies and the distribution companies and the theater chains don’t plan on passing their massive costs of Obamacare onto to you through ticket sales, you’re delusional. If prices do rise to $25 a ticket, then Obamacare will be to blame for at least a third of that rise.

5. Sue China for copyright infringement. China has committed billions, perhaps trillions of dollars of patent and copyright theft. Certainly they’re not the only foreign offender but they certainly are the biggest. (It’s ironic that it is very likely that all the money we have borrowed from China was only made by not paying us for use of patents and copyrights) and the entertainment industry takes billions of dollars in losses every year because of this (losses they pass off to you). Now while the Chinese government per se isn’t doing the actual pirating, they have created, fostered and in many ways encouraged the environment in which such violations run rampant and it needs to stop. While this is an issue that hardly affects only the entertainment industry, that is one of the most obvious ways it affects you and if they tightened up their system (and god forbid paid what they owe) you would see profits over here soar and prices drop in response.

 

6. Conversely America’s copyright laws are a little insane. In a push driven mostly by Disney, Congress extended copyright law to insane levels. Currently it’s life of the artist plus 70 years or 95 years from publication for works owned by corporations. That’s insane. I know Disney has a lot invested in keeping Mickey to themselves…but guys you have to let go at some point. Copyrights do help inspire creation…but when taken to an illogical extension they can also hurt innovation and creation (don’t believe me, go and read some of the insanity that has come about because of the copyrights surrounding Superman). Correcting this problem would mean that soon theaters could get their hands on good old movies at a very, very low cost and show them at almost pure profit, which means they don’t have to make the other ticket prices as high just to break even.

7. Get rid of minimum wage laws. Every usher and every person behind the counter at every theater is being paid at least $7.25 an hour. They’re not worth $7.25 an hour. Based on the service I usually get, they’re not worth $3 an hour. But regardless of what I think they’re worth, it is a simple fact of economics that minimum wage laws hurt the economy. They cause fewer people to be hired, they prevent people from getting experience, they lower service and they drive up costs.


If you got rid of minimum wage laws you would see lower ticket prices. You would also see a drop in the unemployment rate and a massive rise in the economy at all levels.
8. Get rid of ethanol. Ethanol is possibly one of the dumbest things we’ve ever done in this country. It takes 1.2 gallons of fuel to create one gallon of ethanol. So not only is it a waste that causes your gas bill to rise (and thus the cost of EVERYTHING else to rise including your movie ticket) but you’re also wasting tax dollars on this because not only is it a Ethanolwaste, but we subsidize it as well. You pay for it to be grown and then you pay to use it…and it’s worthless. Another fun fact about ethanol is that the heavy production of it has caused the worldwide cost of corn to go up, which not only exacerbates issues of global famine, but probably doesn’t help the price of the popcorn either.

9. While Congress really should get rid of all subsidies and trade barriers let’s look specifically at the ones dealing with sugar. We subsidize sugar production in the U.S. (causing the price to go up) and have stiff trade barriers that prevent cheaper sugar from getting in. This in turn leads to just about everything at concession stands costing vastly higher amounts than it otherwise would.

10. Finally let’s end the government protection of the teacher’s union. What does this have to do with the cost of your theater going experience? In terms of cost not so much, in terms of getting your money’s worth a lot. If we had an even halfway decent education system do you think movies like Grown ups 2, R.I.P.D. The Internship or White House Down would ever have been made? I doubt it, because there wouldn’t have been as much of a market for them…yes intelligent, educated people can enjoy movies like this, but an intelligent educated populace wouldn’t provide a market for as many pieces of crap to be made. And the simple fact is that there is probably no bigger threat to American education than the teacher’s union. End all of their bargaining power, disband the unions (because professionals don’t have unions), and as far as I’m concerned try the union leadership for treason and give them the maximum sentence, because they have done massive and unforgivable damage to this nation in protecting their hack union members who have no business whatsoever being in a classroom.

Now that’s what the government should stop doing…but to be fair there are some things Hollywood should do.

PrincessBride

Why has this not been re-released? This would make more money than you can imagine.

1. Release old movies. Why has there not been a re-release of The Princess Bride in the theaters? Or Casablanca? There is next to no overhead cost and you would sell tickets like crazy. Disney, you could re-release a movie every month from your vault (even if we changed the copyright laws) and it would still take years before you made a full cycle.
I think people would rather pay money to see something older and good than new and dumb.

2. Stop paying actors outrageous salaries and start paying your writers better. As the last few years have shown, people aren’t going to see movies because of their favorite actors. If actors aren’t drawing people in then they’re not good investments. Neither is CGI. In the end the most surefire way to get people in the seats is to tell a good story. Pay your writers better.

3. Hollywood, get some goddamn accountants! Real accountants, not the crazy people who have made Hollywood accounting seem more complex than the US tax code. Get some people who will pinch pennies and tell you no, that’s a bad investment, no, the actor can’t have this many riders in their contract, no, we don’t need this lavish a catering truck at the shoot, no, no, no.

4. Stop hiring directors who can’t make money. Guillermo del Toro and Paul Thomas Anderson do not make money (in fact while some of their films have made a profit I believe they are in the red for their overall careers). (I personally don’t get Scorsese, I don’t think he’s ever made a watchable film, but at least he brings in a profit, I just don’t understand how). But time and time again you see Hollywood give too much money to hacks because they’re ‘great directors.’ If you want to make vanity pieces fine, do it on your own dime; don’t do it so the studio takes the loss and passes that onto the theaters and then onto me.

5 Support a la carte purchasing in cable. It will reduce your competition and the number of channels you need to advertise on (and it’s actually the advertising budget of most films that makes them take a loss not the production costs).These are just a few of the things the government and Hollywood can do, but in the end it boils down to two things, government needs to get out of the way and Hollywood needs to be focused on giving us a higher quality product.
*I say supposedly because let’s be honest, these two schmucks have more a reputation for making good movies than an actual history of making good films. I’m sure someone will take offense to that but go look at all the movies Spielberg has actually directed and take an honest look at how some of the worst films in history are on that list.

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I hate Zombie stories…

Fox Mulder: How come when people come back from the dead, they always wanna hurt the living?

Dana Scully: Well, that’s because people can’t really come back from the dead, Mulder. I mean, ghosts and zombies are just projections of our own repressed cannibalistic and sexual fears and desires. They are who we fear that we are at heart. Just mindless automatons who can only kill and eat.

Fox Mulder: Party pooper.

Resident Evil.   The Walking Dead.  Warm Bodies.  28 Days.  Zombieland.  Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.  I am Legend (which is worse because the short story it’s based on is actually a very deep vampire story).  All crap…piles and piles of crap.

So this week I’m going to review World War Z, which is a bit of a problem because I hate zombie movies.  I like most of Brad Pitt’s work, but just from the trailers this does not appear to be his best work and this film has been mired in production problems. But to give the movie a fair shake, I need to vent my loathing for zombie flicks first.

The Zombii, originally a bizarre side point of African Vodou and Caribbean Voodoo, zombies were originally people killed and revived by a sorcerer called a bokor to be used as a slave for bokor.  Not that this has anything to do with Hollywood’s mindless version of the zombie, a mindless flesh and brain eating monster that seems to be animated by some bizarre virus.  Honestly when was the last time you saw a zombii that was true to the legend, a being animated by voodoo priest?  Weekend at Bernie’s II?  Clearly not a popular plot line with Hollywood…and if you think my complaining about not being true to legend is a just whiny and elitist just consider first we had non-Voodoo zombies, which gave permission for sparkly wimpy vampires and chip’n’dales werewolves.  See what happens when you corrupt the original legends?  See why this has to be stopped?  Why the line must be drawn here!

Zombies are dumbBut zombie movies are dumber for other reasons.

The first being the spiritual side of things.  Back to the opening quote, “zombies are just projections of our own repressed cannibalistic and sexual fears and desires. They are who we fear that we are at heart. Just mindless automatons who can only kill and eat.”  I think there is something to this.  This is what we fear we are like when our higher reasoning is taken away that we are an utterly violent, completely unthinking, monsters. The Freudian ID on crack.  The problem with this is it serves one of the greatest lies about humanity that there is: that we are all corrupt. That we are all evil.  That we are all unworthy at our core.  Where you find fanatics on any side you find this lie, that at your core you are nothing but a monster and must subvert yourself to something else, specifically whatever the particular brand of fanaticism is.  Of course different for two reasons.  The first is that you are your soul not your body, and the soul is perfect, not corrupted, so this is the absolute opposite of the what is at your core…and to try and convince you of that is a very dangerous lie.  Okay you say, but what is the body like without the soul?  Still not like a zombie…because I can easily point to millions, billions of bodies that where the soul has little to no impact on brain or the body.  Most people. Most people ignore their souls, most souls try to be ignored, and the mindless, plodding people straight out of Eliot’s “Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” and the argument that you are nothing but the mindless zombie at the core is nothing but “a tedious argument of insidious intent.”

 

 

And if attempting to desecrate the soul of humanity wasn’t enough, there is always the second half to almost every zombie picture: the survivors. Let me run down the formula for just about every plot of survivors in every zombie movies. People band together for protection, one or more of those people is corrupt, they try to take over and you have an even smaller group of survivors fighting both the zombies and the evil humans. Yes there are variations, but almost without exception, the survivors follow a Hobbesian view of humanity, a war of all against all, where there is no reason or humanity governing people, just the survival of the fittest.  So the zombies are bad but real people are worse.  Yes, wonderful inspiring message.  I’m so glad this is the genre that has captivated millions, the belief that no matter how you cut it people are terrible.

And let’s not forget what a hopeful genre this is.  When was the last time you saw a zombie film with a happy ending? Never.*  The entire premise is that everyone will eventually be turned, no matter what they do, no matter how hard they try.  Human society will collapse, there is no hope, there will be no rebuilding or rebirth.

The Seventh Seal Death

When this is more hopeful than a zombie movie, then clearly the genre has issues…

I’ve seen Ingmar Bergman films that aren’t this nihilistic.

This genre is without any redemptive points.  Yeah there are a few that are mindless brain candy, but there is nothing worth focusing on here since every aspect of it is wrong, at a deep ethical and metaphysical level.  It’s reveling in fear and lies.  It shouldn’t attract the attention of so many people in so many venues.  Oh look there’s a documentary on the National Geographic channel about the Zombie Apocalypse. WTF?
People grow up and put this depressing trash and the philosophy that is at its core behind you!

Okay, that’s out, let us hope Brad Pitt shows me something more to this genre.

“No one knows why, but second only to eating the brains of the living, the dead love affordable prefab furniture.”

“IKEA,” chanted the dead.  “First we feast, then IKEA.  First we feast, then IKEA.”

–The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror by Christopher Moore

*Okay there is I am Legend.  But, again, originally a vampire story…that and the movie sucked, does anyone remember when Will Smith made good movies?  And the short story has a much better ending.

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