Reflections on Iowa

I’ll be honest I wasn’t foolish to think Bachmann would win, but I thought she would do better than she did.

As my friend the Snark Who Hunts back said “Some might disagree, but the fact that Bachmann is 6th, below Gingrich and Perry just shows misogynism is a bigger problem than racism.” In my opinion those who disagree are in denial.

But here is the real problem you had two options (in reality you only ever have two options) Pragmatism and Principle and most of our choices are a balance between these two (principle is important, but only a fool fights the good fight over everything).  And then there is the Republican Party which somehow manages to never go with pragmatism or principle and consistently manages to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory…time…and time…and time…and time again.

Let’s look at Iowa.

Pragmatism says Romney and maybe Gingrich.  Perry is a stuttering fool, Santorum will scare the moderates to death, Romney will also scare the conservatives into seriously asking ‘is Obama really that bad?’ Huntsman who?  Now I love Bachmann, and I think she could beat Obama in a head to head, but if you’re going for the safe bet I’ll admit she would not be it.  So really Romney is the pragmatic bet, with Gingrich as certainly safer than anyone but Romney.

As for principle. There is Bachmann.  Santorum is only a social conservative who would eagerly regulate every aspect of the economy and your personal life if he had the chance (he is the boogeyman liberals fear Republicans are…and people voted for him?!), Perry wants to tell you what medical care you should have and is willing to unconstitutionally use executive orders to do it, Romney is a Massachusetts conservative (possibly read liberal…unless what he is saying about doing the best he could with the liberal legislature is true, your call, I believe him), Gingrich has said very liberal things and done very conservative things (and vice versa, so it’s a toss-up).  And not only is Ron Paul evil incarnate when it comes to foreign policy (the wet dream of genocidal lunatics the world over) he is beginning to sound so small government that he wants to not just go back to the gold standard, but would rather go back to the Articles of the Confederation.  And then there is Bachmann who is a take charge small government capitalist who wants to defend liberty in the world and whose only flaw is that she is a little too socially conservative.  And who’s Huntsman?

Let me say up front to the roughly half of the state of Iowa that voted for Gingrich (not my preference but you can at least pass the no brainer test), Romney, or Bachmann, I did not mean to insult you, you at least have reasons for your votes…but honestly over half your state voted for Obama and now this.  How do you stand it being surrounded by so many dumb people?

So who does Iowa pick?  The Devil and the Socialist Puritan.  WTF!  They are neither the principled choice nor the pragmatic one.  Does corn make you stupid?  I now see why The Music Man is placed in Iowa, it’s the kind of place where people would actually think “Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool” is a legitimate argument.  Is the smartest thing anyone ever did in that state was plow under their corn field and build a baseball stadium…oh wait that was also fiction, I guess no one in that state was even bright enough for that.

I’m sorry but there is absolutely no excuse for this.  Cain, Gingrich, Romney, Bachmann at least theoretically have (or in Cain’s case had) ideas.  Romney, Gingrich, Cain (for a while) seemed electable.  But no let’s have half the state vote for the dimwit twins.

If you voted for either of these not so affable dunces, you should know that you are a terrible, terrible, person because you have no excuse.  But to the people who voted for Paul especially I have a simple message.  I want to thank you m!@#$%f!@#ers for giving the Democrats ammunition.  For the next decade when Democrats unjustly claim that the GOP which tries for rules that will give everyone equal opportunity are racists (ignoring that their policies almost seemed designed to deny minorities opportunities in life) every non-racist in the GOP is now going to have to deal with the fact that apparently 20% of the GOP (in Iowa) felt Ron Paul was a viable option.  And quite frankly when the Democrats point that little tidbit out, there’s not a lot we can do, because, sadly it’s a valid point.  Thank you Iowa voters for giving Democrats ammunition against us.

To the rest of the country, let’s show the truth that we are not racists and it’s only the Iowa-GOP that’s suffering serious mental issues and make sure that Ron Paul does not crack single digits again.  If you have to verbally berate Ron Paul supporters until they are huddled in fetal position in a corner rocking back and forth, know that you are doing it not just for your party but your country and I am with you in spirit (if you can convince them by reason, but they’re supporting Ron Paul, they’re a bit beyond reason at this point).

You know, Ron Paul used to be fun, when he was harmless.  He was our Dennis Kucinich.  The crazy kook, the wacky drunken uncle of our political family, who we kept around for the humor of it.  How in the name of the dear lord almighty did you get 20%!

Ford, Bush, Dole, Bush, McCain and now this.  What is wrong with our party?  Why can we not even choose a pragmatic or principled candidate?  Why must we always nominate losers who are the worst of all possible worlds?

Please, the rest of nation, prove Michael Barone right that “As Iowa goes, so goes Iowa.” 

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Filed under Anti-Semitism, Capitalism, Congress, Conservative, Economics, Election 2012, Evils of Liberalism, Fear, GOP, Government is corrupt, Government is useless, Michele Bachmann, People Are Stupid, politics, Problems with the GOP, Tyranny

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